2019 has been an uncomfortable year for me in many aspects of my life. However, I am finishing the year with a clear understanding that this year was a pruning year for me, if I wouldn’t have been so uncomfortable then God couldn’t have removed the things from my life that needed to be removed in order for me to have clearer vision & renewed purpose moving into 2020, which is a whole new decade! I write this to encourage you if 2019 has had its fair share of challenges too for you, sit back & examine what those have taught you or removed from your life as a result.

The major obstacle I have faced this year is my health, my disease has attacked my body in a whole new special kind of torture way. Lupus can attack any organ of your body but this year my body decided to wage war on my colon, skin, & eyes. I have experienced flares this year that have completely debilitated  me from the pain. Let me tell you, collapsing at your sons football game & being escorted off Disney property from the doctors station in a special Mickey mobile were NOT highlights of my 2019…nor my child’s I am sure, which is a whole other post, the mom guilt of a chronically ill person. But every low this year has taught me something & cut off an area that needed to go. Just a couple of examples below so you can understand what I am talking about but won’t list them all because I could go all day.

Being on high doses of steroids & all the puffiness that comes with it has made me crazy & uncomfortable. BUT it has taught me in this body image filled industry that I work in you need to be confident in the skin that you are in & it is not about skinny, it is about strong & healthy. Prior to this year when I would take prednisone the extra weight you gain would frustrate me. After this year and the pain that it stopped, I am thankful for it! And keeping that pain away means I can keep on squatting & tucking away so I am a happy girl!  Without the pain getting so bad I don’t know that I would have gotten here…let that sink in y’all…can you relate? Now I can confidently coach my clients on embracing your body where it is. I mean I can go on a soap box on this now, just ask my clients. I am so lucky too that Baby Boot Camp is embracing #fitforthejourney & really focusing on being strong and fit for motherhood, not bouncing back after a baby. I feel like after my year this year, I can whole heartedly preach this all day long. Everyone’s bodies are different, everyone’s journeys are different, fuel your body with whole food, keep it active, and LOVE YOURSELF!

Another area that got pruned this year was my stubbornness. I am still stubborn, but prior to this year I was like irrational stubborn. And I HATE asking for help. Welllll buddy…experience the flares I have this year and you are going to be begging for help & realize you need to slow down and let some stuff go. You can’t do it all, and that is OK. You will disappoint people and that is OK. Because those who love you will still be there for you & they are who you want in your corner anyway.  And PS my corner is amazing ❤️ This year has really shown me the depths of family & friendships. Like the first area I mentioned, without the severity of the pain that I experienced I don’t know that I would have ever had any crack in my stubborn streak. But when you see your baby with tears in his eyes asking if you are going to die, you get a reality check real quick as to what is important in life.

I am now back on methotrexate injections , last time this meant hair loss, which lead to lots of tears, but now I’m just googling pixie cuts if needed, I can rock one of those. The girl who started this year would NOT have had that mindset.

Pruning allows for the flower to increase its quality & yield…again let that sink in. Things that 2019 have thrown at you that were painful might have just been a way to remove some things or habits from your life that were holding back your yield that is coming…watch out 2020 because I am ready to bloom!

 

Your body feels like you have the flu & it was tough to even get out of bed. You are bloated and miserable from all of your medications. It sounds pretty counterintuitive to tell someone who feels like this to go exercise right!? Exercise is actually one of the BEST things a lupus patient can do for their bodies & it sure beats laying in bed all day thinking about how miserable you feel.

I have always been an avid exerciser & love moving my body, except to Zumba or dance classes, I am TERRIBLE at those! But after I found out I had lupus exercise took on a whole new meaning for me. Physically it fought off some of the damage my body was doing to itself because I was keeping my bones, muscles, joints and heart healthy amidst attack. Mentally it fought off damage as well…I have found the hour a day I carve out for physical activity is the hour I feel most empowered & in control of my body. Some days my range of motion isn’t what I would like or I might not move as fast as the day before, but any movement at all makes me feel so much better!

There is a growing body of literature that suggests exercise is extremely beneficial in so many areas for lupus patients. If you would like to delve into this, please contact me, more than happy to share! After I was first diagnosed until age 26 when I had my son I was a group fitness junkie, Spin, group power, kickboxing, & I loved to run. I was at the gym 6 days a week & loved every second. Working out has never felt like a burden or something I have to do. It’s something I WANT to do because it makes me feel so much better! Enter having my son…lupus and pregnancy is a whole other topic I will delve into in another post. But let’s just say it left my body wrecked & in the worst flare up I had ever experienced. My body longed for movement. My joints cried out for it. But I had this tiny human to care for who DID NOT want to be away from his mama. Not to mention the gym I went to wouldn’t let kiddos into childcare until 6 months (not that I would have left him before that anyway probably). Even writing about this time in my life makes me tear up because it was such a trying time physically & the one thing I knew would help my pain (exercising) seemed to be so unattainable. I tried working out at home and hated every second. Jax always needed me, especially at home with no distractions, I couldn’t get anything done & to be honest, I thrive in a group environment. When Jax was 1 I knew I had to find a way to make it happen again & we were finally at a spot I could leave him for longer periods of time. My body was in bad shape. I would cry myself to sleep every night from the pain of laying on my hips. I knew I couldn’t go back to impact for a bit so I googled best low impact exercises and Pure Barre popped up. I had no idea what Barre was but it looked simple enough (hahahaha, boy was I wrong) & I signed up for my first class.

I will never forget that first class…I wore an old pink T-shirt & Black leggings and had no idea what the hell sticky socks were or why you would need tiny grippers on your socks if you weren’t jumping 😆 Sheri was my instructor and she was beyond amazing. I fumbled thru the 55 min class, felt like I almost died at least 10 times, couldn’t hold a plank to save my life, and ate a big ole piece of humble pie. I was sore in places I didn’t know existed  before barre & I was HOOKED!

Now over 1,000 classes later (no that is not a typo)  I feel like every lupus patient, or any person struggling with joint issues and autoimmune diseases should know about barre. Y’all it is a game changer! No impact & strengthens muscles around your joints which equals an effective workout that reduces joint pain, perfect for me 🙌🏻 The secret is in the tiny isometric movements that literally make you feel like you have fire shut up inside your body while doing them, but oh my goodness that burn and shake make you so strong and joints stable! You isolate single muscle groups in barre, which is difficult especially in your legs, because most lower body work (I.e a squat) engage a primary muscle group, but you have a whole lot of secondary going too. But that isolation is the magic for building those strong stabilizer muscles, which for me meant no more hip pain! I had been in physical therapy off and on for years for my joint pain, after I discovered barre no more needed! And let me tell you, strengthening your “outer seat” as they call it in barre is much more enjoyable moving to music than in a PT office!

Thank you Pure Barre Louisville for giving me a Barre home the last 5.5 years & for truly changing my life. The instructors are amazing & can make some killer playlists to get you thru that burn! Nance & Alissa I think you all have dished out the most butt kickings, but love my time there no matter who is on the mic ❤️

Now onto boot camp! The women that make up my Baby Boot Camp tribe have filled my heart in ways & changed my life in ways I never thought possible, & there is a whole seperate post on that coming in the future as well! But remember how I said I was miserable until Jax was 1? I NEVER wanted a mama to be in those shoes again…whether you have a chronic illness or not, isolation & losing exercise if it is important to you shouldn’t be the norm after having a baby. So I went on a search to find a way to fix this! And I found Baby Boot Camp! I am, and have been, the proud owner of the franchise here in Louisville & Oldham Co. Kentucky for the last 3 years. I have just started building an instructor team the last year so I can finally workout at boot camp too & not just instruct! I LOVE the days i get to bring Jax with me to class & workout! It gives me back the sweaty glory of my group fitness days all surrounded by my momstrong family & some of the sweetest littles ever who I will totally claim as my own any day 💗

I don’t have to do my burpees & squats alone anymore, which makes for a much happier exerciser! I’ve kept my cardio & weights/resistance work up along with barre on my own a few days a week the last 4 years,  but having one my instructors yelling at me is music to my ears 😂

If you have lupus, please, please find some type of exercise you love (or at least don’t hate) & stick with it! Surround yourself with a group that will hold you accountable to show up & will support you! Don’t like a group setting? Find a personal trainer. Your body has a unique set of circumstances and having a trained professional work with you in person is so important. Having a bad day with your knees? Tell them and they can show you a modification! Barely made it to your workout because it is a “bad” day? Tell them what hurts & they will help you! That is our job, that is what we are here for as fitness professionals. Having a trainer in person means anything can be adapted for you & your needs. You can’t get that from online workouts. At least to get started on your journey,  find that support system & happy sweating!

-Meagan

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was diagnosed with Lupus at age 18. I am stubborn to a hilt and refused to let this define me, which means I also really don’t like to talk about it & most certainly do not like when it slows me down. I have spent much of my life trying to prove to myself that I am stronger than this disease. I have grappled with the tug at my heart that I need to share my experiences for months. I do not like feeling vulnerable, nor am I a good writer. But then experiences happen that leave me shaken and only my faith keeps me going & I think gosh I just wish I knew someone who could relate. So I’m going to give this a go & share my experiences in hopes that if even one young girl who gets diagnosed with this terrible disease, she might somehow run across this blog & know she is not alone. I am still fighting 16 years later & she can too. 

See this girl below? From the outside you would never know something was wrong…but inside I was scared, sick, & frustrated. This was my senior prom. I first started having symptoms of Lupus February of my senior year, this picture was taken in May, I did not feel well that day but I just layered on thicker makeup to cover my facial rash and told myself to suck it up. My doctors hadn’t figured out what was wrong at this point and I was so exhausted from not receiving the right treatments or having any relief from my symptoms for months. But you can hide a lot behind a pretty dress and a fake smile…

I was finally diagnosed that July, my doctor just didn’t think Lupus was an option, I was so young…this was 2 weeks before I was scheduled to move 2 hours away from home, my support system for college.  I remember getting the phone call that day. I was laying in bed with a fever, my body aching from head to toe. I had tried to go out earlier in the day with my boyfriend and being in the sun made me feel terrible and landed me in bed feeling like I had the flu. I was home alone. My doctor said I would need to find a rheumatologist and he would send labs over. I said ok. I was 18 and was just told everything about the rest of my life was going to be different in a 60 second phone call…I curled up in a ball and wept. I don’t know that I have shed a tear since that day about my diagnosis. It has caused me tears from pain & some hard decisions I have had to make. I vowed that day though I would never shed another tear over being labeled with the diagnosis. I don’t know if that is right or wrong, but it has kept me moving and fighting. Investing in labels that are anything but what God calls you aren’t worth the time. He calls me HEALED! So that is my backstory.

I will use this blog to share info on things that have gotten me thru the last 16 years. It has been a journey but my faith, family, friends, & fitness have made a huge difference in my ability to fight this.  So if you are a young girl who has just been diagnosed with lupus and think your life is over, this girl below too did for a second, but I promise you it’s not. 

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton